Notwithstanding Ange's world view and demeanour, there's nothing matter of fact about 2 weeks alone with three young children whilst working. It's going to be chaos. I am sure it was chaos for her. It will be chaos for me. Ange will be quick to point out that it's not actually 2 weeks either. It's 12 days and my trip was 2 weeks. But if we're getting picky, mine was actually 13 days.
In mental preparation for this, I re-read some blog entries from the Spring of 2009, when Ange went to China for work for 2 weeks (14 days). For those who have any questions about my ability to cope, I submit Day 4 to you. Clearly it's possible (even probable) that I won't cope this time around. It may be a day shorter, but I've actually added a child to the equation. Sleep will be key. In fact, 6 years into this parenting thing and I think there's one fundamental truth to being a parent: you're a better one if you're getting enough sleep.
Interestingly, I established some "day success measurables". They are quite good actually. I'm fond enough of them to apply them again to this round. Copied in large part from April 2009, here they are again:
- Melt-downs. How many in a day. And we're not talking incessant whimpering over some sugary candy or mild-but-insincere crying over leaving the park at a time perceived to be "too early". I'm talking screaming that makes you wonder if they might be doing permanent damage to their vocal chords; lying on the ground kicking; flailing about like a fish out of water; and, of course, feet being stamped. A good judge of the scale is when stranger, neighbours or people who would have no interest in your child's well-being feel compelled to as if "everything is alright?" to which, in a true melt-down, your only response must use your in-your-head-voice which goes something like, "No. It's not 'all' right. Does it look like it's f$#king alright?"
- Today: 0. With three, that's unmitigated success.
- TV time. How much time is spent in front of the TV in a day. This is tough, because TV is the ultimate cheat with kids. Sadly, it doesn't do much for them and even a little bit too much usually leads to the melt-down described above. Back in 2009, I strove for none but seldom achieved it. So seldom did I achieve it that now less than an hour would be successful. I'm well happy to be past the Disney Princesses movies and onto Pixar movies and the like. At least I can indulge in the adult humour the flies over their heads.
- Today: 0.5 hours. Caleb was obliterated from his World Cup Soccer Camp and needed to check out while Eva and I got our things together for a drum concert in the local park. Without Eva's help, it might have been 5 minutes of TV, but what do you do? It was less than an hour. Success.
- Getting "out of the house". This probably comes from my parents and I am pretty forgiving if the weather is pants, which it has been nearly without exception for the better part of two years. But it remains critical to a successful day, even if you only make it as far as the garden. Thankfully the weather has turned. It's summer. We've only had 4 days of it, so it's a novelty since summer didn't really happen last year.
- Today: The park. It included the aforementioned drum concert of dubious quality, playing in the splash pool and time at the play park. Success.
- Eating well. In my mind this has a direct correlation to the quantity and diversity of vegetables consumed. Fruit is a close second. Chips don't count as potatoes and the greener the better when it comes to veggies.
- Today: Hmmm. Pizza at the park for dinner. Augmented by vegetables. Carrots and broccoli and a few snow peas. The cauliflower was rejected out of hand. Lunches were pretty well balanced. There was definitely not enough calcium... which I won't point out because Anna is too clever and would use that as rationale for ice cream. Today was maybe a pass. Pizza always feels like a fail no matter what you coax them into eating with it.
- Minimize sugar. This, of course, ties into eating well. However, with Anna and now Caleb, it is a category in its own right. Those two devote more energy to negotiating for treats than I would have thought possible. They wear you down. It's never ending. I've gone from being somewhat indifferent about junk food to actually hating it, if only because it's the thing that is most discussed in my whole life. I feel particularly weak as a parent in this category. I have friends whose children have never had refined sugar cross their lips and some of the kids are nearly in kindergarten.
- Today: a handful of sour candies and Twizzlers and one fruit leather each. Complete success as long as you remove from your memory that they had pizza for dinner. And, I promise you, we discussed other treats extensively, including what and when they will be eating them tomorrow.
- Teaching and creative out letting. This has been dropped from my list of measurable objectives this time around. It was loosely based on those parents who do all sorts of amazing art and creative learning projects with their kids. You know the kind. The ones who manage to pull together bowls of different textures (rice and flour and sand and cat food or whatever) and the kids just spend time "exploring"... or the kids get time to assemble a dinosaur that's been pre-cut by mum or dad--the glue sticks out, armed with glitter pens and bobbly eyes (where the hell do you get those things?) and pieces of fabric cut out from old clothes salvaged from a trip to the Sally Anne. The other parent comes home and the 2 year old has made their own "That's Not My Dinosaur" book. Well I'm crap at it. Let's face it, if I had to make my own book out of materials salvaged from the recycling bin, it's going to look like a some kid in pre-school did it. Anna is already much better at anything like this than I will ever be. Caleb is only sort of into it and Eva is a third child, so seems bound to skip all sorts of stages anyway. Might as well skip creative out letting that your dad is rubbish at anyway. I read to my kids. I try to teach them things I know about, like riding a bike or kicking or throwing a ball. Maybe we'll build a birdhouse this week. Or maybe not. We can assume I will largely fail at this nearly every day so don't need to bring it up each day.
- Getting something 'non-kid' done. This was pretty random the first time around, but I believe my standards have dropped here too. I gave examples like throwing in a load of laundry or washing the dishes. It may feel like a bonus, but actually it is a necessity. I will also add going to washroom in peace and having a glass of scotch to this list. Hell, I've got another kid, the bar has been lowered.
- Today: Three lunches made. Dishes washed. Load of laundry in. Kitchen swept. Plants watered. Scotch poured and I will get that visit to the loo in peace as long as Eva sleeps... something she's particularly good at.... so, Success.
In fairness, Ange left at midday today, so today's only a half day. But I've still pulled it off.
Proof of sleeping child before 11pm. Anna is the most unlikely to sleep too.
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