Wow.
There's guilt.
Did I really have nothing to say?
I suspect that I was simply too tired to say it. It almost feels like I should break down the last 18 months into a paragraph--you know, the kind of paragraph that you send to that random person you knew moderately well in Junior High, who have just made cotnact with you through Facebook.
As I consider why I might be tired, I feel somewhat vindicated. I thought I was tired in university because I occassionally stayed up all night to finish an assignment that remained unfinished only because I was too lazy and unfocused to have started it weeks, or months, earlier. I thought I was tired when we went travelling because I had opted to save $6 on accomodation at some hostel in Eastern Europe by taking an overnight bus trip to a new city three countries away. I thought I was tired Anna was eight months old and we opted to pack up and move to England, get new jobs and start anew. I can only say that all I really needed was some perspective. I believe I now have more of it than I once did.
Evalene Clara Fitch was born in February of 2011. As lovely as the other two, we as parents had changed. So, unlike when Anna or Caleb were infants, we consciously opted not to move internationally to start new jobs. No, we had three kids now, and stability and continuity were commodities that resonated with us. And then... the realtor who had helped us buy our house in Vancouver shows up at our door.
As I reflect back on last April, I still can't clearly put the chain of events together coherently. Because it's my personality, I blame Vancouver. The real estate here is simply absurd. It does not make sense. I don't comprehend it. We had owned our house for all of 25 months and were told the value had gone through the roof. And, I might add, not for something we had done. The garden was more mature with nicer flowers. The leak in the garage roof had been stemmed and it did now have a questionably-well-built, but entirely functional work-bench. The electrical was now up to code and the downstairs fridge and stove were only 15 years old, rather than 30 years old. I had also removed a ridiculous wood stove from the living room and replaced it with a gas fire (whilst discovering the chimney was in desperate need of repointing). Hardly the inspiring renovation worthy of an epic, flip of a lifetime.
No, Vancouver's buying fancy had turned to big lots. And, as it turns out, we had one of those. In fact, the house was probably a liability. An empty lot, free of tear-down costs? Now, that would have been gold. Of course, that would also have been tough camping with three kids. Eva is all of two months old at this point. So, Ms. Realtor, you think it's going to fetch that kind of crazy increase? Go ahead, we say. We'll buy a smaller lot and reduce the mortgage to something more like what the rest of the world pays. But the caveat is simple: we're not cleaning, we're not staging and, it's unlikely we're even going to leave the house when you show it. Heck, we don't even really want to leave: the electrical is safe and we've got a new gas fireplace.
By way of making a short story shorter. One viewer and one offer. Ten minutes of back and forth, where there really wasn't any forth on our part because we had one viewer and one offer, and suddenly we've sold our house. 48 hours ago we were content. Now we've sold the house we need to move. Did I mention that Eva is two months old? Three kids under 6 and open houses. Is there anything more painful in life?
Offers on houses here and there. Always in the back of our mind that if we're going to reduce liability, we can't be looking at the really nice houses that make it a move simply for the sake of a move. Finally, we spot a house that we quite like and is in our price range. We look at it. It has lovely bits but some really bad bits too. Oma, my mum--and an architect--is consulted. Bad bits can be renovated. It will just take time and money. With nothing else on the market that makes us better off and doesn't land us with a complete tear-down or 60 miles from our places of work,
the offer goes in and.... we get it.
Eva is now 4 months old and we're on the move. Not internationally. No, only about 700 metres this time. Hell, I pushed the motorbike from the old house to the new one. But this time we get to renovate. And renovate big style.
Up next: renovation with three small children where you get no bath or shower and you all live in the living room together for 13 weeks. Remarkably, it's not a tragedy. But it does provide perspective on being tired.
