It really ought not to be that I write only on being spurred to do so, but such is life with two small children. Once they're in bed, there's always so many options. Why is always, "Do minimal amount of cleaning to keep the house marginally hygienic" that wins? Not tonight! Cleanliness be darned, there's a story to tell.
Actually, there's several. But we'll keep a few in reserve for other nights when cleanliness and hygiene take a back seat.
I find that most places have their proponents and their detractors. I could be accused of being a detractor of most places. I prefer to think of myself as a realist. Moss does not grow on your house, roof and all over your garden if the climate is not fundamentally dark and wet. I don't care what statistic one comes up with or if the weather happens to be "nicer" than Edmonton, Alberta: you're living in a generally wet and dark climate. I can admit this fact, put on a raincoat and don't hold it against Vancouver. Just like in Calgary, I can accept that it is very cold but sunny in the winter, so I put on my winter coat and sunglasses and get on with it.
And this, I believe, is the root of my problem with Vancouver. It's not that I'm not allowed to have a problem with Vancouver: it's that I'm not allowed to even be realistic about the place without someone getting up in my face about it. I feel like no one sees this place for what it is: a very average, shockingly expensive city with an incredible view. Not being particularly inclined to views, I find the surcharge on that view somewhat unpalatable. I'm indifferent to the weather, being not unlike Britain if a little wetter.
And, I find the driving to be completely unbelievable. Traffic and automotive infrastructure aside (city planners seriously have the gall to name the Grandview "Highway" a highway? See bottom for more on this), it is the arrogance of the drivers that I find so entirely mind-blowing.
To be fair, I've only witnessed a few accidents in the last couple of years. Mind you, my commute is only a mile, so seeing several collisions in that mile suggests a certain degree of hazard. Again, attributing it all to 'hazard' doesn't convey the sense of annoyance that is regularly delivered to any right-minded driver on any given day in Vancouver.
A drive to see family in North Delta or White Rock takes us down Oak Street and onto the venerable Highway 99. Everyone diligently works their way through town on Oak, stopping at dozens of traffic lights. It's three narrow lanes going south. Narrow enough that most trucks on the road spill into an adjacent lane, functionally reducing the lanes to two. Despite parked cars in the curb lane, you can rely on a small silver BMW sporting an N plate (for new driver) overtaking recklessly where 'opportunities' exist in the curb lane. The left lane begins having "No Left Turn" signs at about 50th Ave, but there's a good likelihood of cube delivery van ignoring those rules and stopped, indicating, and waiting for a break in traffic the other way.
For those of you with a good sense of spacial awareness, you're right in noting that the only 'moving' lane at this point is the middle lane. Let me, then, complete this picture for you: this is the main thoroughfare coming out of downtown Vancouver to the south. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people who take this road. And we're down to one lane. You can reliably throw in darkness, pouring rain, and 10% of people illegally talking on their mobile phones and paying no attention whatsoever to the chaos that surrounds.
Then, after the last set of lights, 3 lanes become 2 (this is great for keeping things moving) and you charge across the bridge. This little merge and the awareness that there's no more traffic lights effectively creates a drag race situation off the last set of lights. The speed limit is 60km/h (yes, it's a highway with a 40mph speed limit) but everyone is going guns blazing at this point... except for, invariably, the elderly lady driving her Mercedes SUV who out-accelerates everyone who isn't in a $100,000 vehicle to 58km/h, whereupon she settles into a groove of not quite doing he speed limit. In the fast lane.
The road twists and turns south. You can choose a very large bridge that converges 6 lanes to 3 or a an old tunnel to cross the next river. Either way, you can be certain of more unpleasantness. And it's constant jockeying for position. The result of all this jockeying and getting in front of one another and there being no functional fast lane or slow lane is the most incredible accelerate and brake situation you have ever known. It's all highway, but you'll use every gear. You'll probably get up to 120km/h for a bit, but you'll certainly be doing 20km/h in other places.
And, in the midst of all this accelerating and braking, you come to the realization that an inordinate amount of drivers in the greater Vancouver area take on this absurd drive without.... wait for it... fully functioning brake lights. It's dark. It's raining. The traffic is in full epileptic spasm and the idiot in front of you has no brake lights. I can't quite come to terms with how many people drive about without brake lights. Sometimes it's just one. Sometimes 2 of 3. And, more often than I care to think about it, there's none at all.
I just shake my head. Maybe they can't afford the bulb after being taken to the cleaners over everything else here, but it's just as often a brand new Audi as it is an early 1990s Ford Escort. Indeed, I am so convinced that there's nowhere quite like this for brake light failure that I issue you this challenge for next time you're driving in the Vancouver area (I call it the 5 Mile Challenge): I bet you can't drive 5 miles (8.047 KM) without seeing someone with at least one taillight not working. I play the game with Ange all the time. She guffaws at me (nothing like when she reads this post, mind you), but it's true. We usually can't get 500 meters. Anyway, there it is: the Vancouver 5 Mile Challenge. At very least, it'll take your mind off the frustration of no one following any rules or driving with any courtesy.
Revisiting what you call a Highway
Just in case you're not from Vancouver, here's the 'Gradnview Highway' (for those of you from the UK, calling it a highway is akin to calling it a motorway...):
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