A different perspective on this morning

It's always a little tough to garner what a one year old is thinking, but if you take the combination of facial expression and noise and stir in a little "fill in the blank", I expect his feelings on a typical morning, after a week without mum goes something like this:

5:50am
Whoa, it's light in here. I should get up.
I'll call out for mum: "Eeeehhhhaaaa? Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck. Mmmmmmwhhhhhhaaaaa?"
Nothing? What a bother. I'll just get myself up. If I can just stand up. Stupid sleep sack. What the hell are they thinking putting me in this thing? I can't stand. It gets caught under me and twisted. They're creating claustrophobia where it doesn't yet exist. Damn it. Okay, I'll just drag myself up using solely my arms.... screw it. I'll sit. Where is mum? (*slightly louder:*) "Eeeehhhhaaaa? Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck. Mmmmmmwhhhhhhaaaaa?"

Ah, I hear mum coming up the steps.

Dad? This is ridiculous. Where's mum? You can get me out of this sack and give me a drink, but I'm on the look out for mum.

No. Don't try to cuddle me. Where is mum, anyway? What have you done with her?

6:02am
You're trying to change me already? You think I'm going to make this easy on you? No way. You just try and do up that nappy. I can see you grimacing and I can outlast you.

Okay, okay: blowing on my tummy is pretty funny. Okay, stop it. No, not really. Do it again. Okay, stop.

Heh! How did you get that nappy done up? You won't fool me so easily next time.

6:07am
Right, dad is going to get my clothes. I'll go when he not looking. If I do the half walk, half crawl crab maneuver I can get out of the room and half way down the hall before he has picked out a pair of trousers. Anna will know where mum is. "Annanananana?" Sleeping? "Mmmmmmwhhhhhhaaaaa? Ah. Ah. Ah. Ka."

Doesn't she know it's time to get up and dad has lost mum?

6:18am
Breakfast is on! I'll have a banana please: "Nananana" Good. And a piece of toast: "Aaaaannnnnnhhhhhh!". And whatever you're drinking in that cup. Alright, water in my own cup. Consider yourself warned, dad, put that cup within my reach and it's mine. In fact, put anything within reach and not only will I take it, I'll eat it.

For crying out loud: no, I won't have anymore applesauce. Alright, I'll have some applesauce, but only if you let me have the spoon. I'm going to get the spoon. Put that near my mouth and... I've got it. Hooray (*spoon flies about and food lands everywhere*)! What the? Where is the applesauce and why are my trousers wet? And while you're answering questions, what did you do with mum?

7:24am
I am glad to be down from the table.

Is that Anna? Let's walk, dad! You hold my hand. Baby steps... okay, big, leaning forward at crazy angle steps.

Forget Anna, there's the cat! Dad, have you seen that there is a cat living in our house? Oh my God. A cat. I need to touch the cat. I need to touch the cat. I need to touch the cat. Get over here cat. Two hands. YES! Sweet little kitty cat.

Why are you whimpering, cat?

No! No!!!! No, dad: don't take me away from the cat. I love her. You... can... grab me... but I'm not... letting... go... of the cat. SEE? I still have her! She's coming with me. And what the hell does "gently" mean anyway?

7:27am
TV? Movement. The pretty colours! They're so... beautiful. Oh, the music. It's... it's... it's in my soul. My feet are moving. My butt. I'm going to fall down! I may have lost my balance, but I'm right back at it. I'm up!

Where did you go, dad? Mum wouldn't leave me here alone. What's Anna on about breakfast. We've already eaten. I'll just go over and explain.

I'm almost at the kitchen... knock at the door. I'll need to do one of these turns that I've been practising. It's wide... but successful. All right door, here I come.

OMA!! Hooray! Dad, look, it's Oma! "Mamamamamama"

Speaking of which, Oma: are you aware that dad lost mum? Do you know where mum is?

7:45am
Dad seems to be preparing to leave. I can tell by the kisses. Stop kissing me dad. You're embarrassing me in front of the cat.

Alright, you can kiss my neck because it tickles.

Now get out of here. Oma is here--and while not mum--she's infinitely more competent than you.

I'll wave at the window.
Now go.
Bye. (*waving, using most of his body*)